As the first of our friends to have a baby (at the youthful age of 30!), I have since been asked many times what you really need for a new baby. The more I reflect on it, the less I believe you really need. So here is my take on what is necessary, what is desirable and what is not needed at all, from my perspective as a spoonie parent.
This list covers items for the care of a new baby, not for a pregnant person or for birth and after-birth. I plan to make a separate post about the items that might ease the process for spoonies becoming parents (including the non-birthing partner). I also intend to go into more detail on each of the necessary items as these can be huge decisions individually so watch this space!
If you have suggestions for additions or alterations for this list, please let me know! You can comment below, or get in touch with me.
Baby preparations: what you really need and what you really don't
We are led to believe – by the media, by advertising and by those older and wiser than us – that certain baby gadgets and gismos are necessary. That they will make having a newborn baby so much easier. That you really ought to get them now, before the baby arrives and you’re too tired and busy.
But the truth is that there is very little that you really need for a new baby. Most of it can be sourced second-hand or at a discount. The caveat to this is car seats and mattresses, which should be bought new.
We often panic about affording all the things we will need, especially with the prospect for many of low or unpaid time off work to care for baby. But there is no need to spend a lot.
That being said, if you are able to afford some extras they may be really beneficial. And you should not feel bad about wanting to buy the odd special item for your baby. It’s part of nesting and getting mentally ready, which I think is as important as the physical preparations.
Avoid unnecessary or unsafe purchases, and you may be able to budget for some small luxuries and treats for your new addition. Don’t forget to allow money for yourself too. Pregnancy, birth and the early days can be tough. Make comfort and self-care a priority where you can.
But why can’t I buy car seats and mattresses second-hand?
Unless you are 100% confident you can trust the person you get a car seat from (such as a friend or family member), you should buy new. If a seat has been in a collision – no matter how small – it may no longer be safe. Seats also go ‘out of date’ so check how old any hand-me-downs are.
Mattresses simply can’t be cleaned adequately between babies. By all means buy the cot, crib or moses basket second-hand. But buy the mattress new. Don’t forget carry-cots (bassinets) also need new mattresses if you have a second-hand pushchair.
What you really need for a new baby (the bare essentials)
You need very little to get started. More can always be purchased later. I’m not keen on some of the bigger retailers and the way they encourage wasteful purchases, but the truth is that large supermarkets and online stores with next day delivery are available if anything is needed straight away.
The absolute essentials are:
A safe sleeping space for baby (e.g. a moses basket, crib or cot). If you plan to co-sleep, please look at the Lullaby Trust for information about how to do so safely.
Nappies, wipes and probably some nappy cream in case of rashes. Barrier cream (to be applied at every change) is unnecessary. Change frequently and clean baby well to avoid rashes.
Clothing for baby – think about the seasons! You don’t need loads of cardigans for summer, and for winter you will want layers. Tiny socks are very sweet but if you use sleepsuits with feet you’ll have fewer to pair, fewer to lose and less time wrangling tiny feet into them. Zips may help sore hands, I love Bonds wondersuits for stretch and comfort. Find them on Vinted to save money. You’ll also need breathable blankets or a couple of sleeping bags (only some are suitable from birth).
A way to transport baby. Carrying them in your arms everywhere will become tiring and impractical. Consider a pushchair, carrier or sling. If you will be using a car, a car seat (infant carrier) is essential.
Cloths for wiping spills and sick. Babies throw up frequently. Muslins are made for this and will last for ages and many purposes, but you could cut up and hem an old cotton sheet or use old t-shirts or tea towels. Make sure whatever you plan to wipe baby with is nice and soft.
A method of feeding your baby. Breast-feeding and chest-feeding are free, healthy and great if you can manage it. But this is a source of great aggravation for me (and one day I will write about why breast is not always best and fed certainly is), so I encourage you to choose the way to feed your baby that works for you. Alternative options are bottle-feeding with formula, combination feeding with both breast-milk and formula, or pumping (even exclusively). If you plan to bottle-feed, you will need bottles, a bottle brush, formula and a way to sterilise them. (Some bottles are self-sterilising so you don’t need a separate steriliser.)
A thermometer suitable for use on a newborn. A high temperature can be dangerous for a new baby, so it’s best to be able to check it if baba feels too warm or seems unwell.
To my knowledge, that is it. That is what you really need for a new baby. If you use second-hand bottles, you may wish to buy new teats. Otherwise, most of this can be sourced second hand to keep costs down and reduce the impact on the environment.
Extra things that are nice to have with a newborn (especially for spoonies)
The bare essentials will get you through, but if the budget stretches – or you’re lucky enough to receive gifts from others – there are some things that might help ease those first few tiring weeks and months. When parenting with an allowance of spoons, anything that can help preserve spoons is a win in my book. Spoonies may benefit from items that ease the mental load or that support you physically to care for your baby.
Here’s my list of the nice-to-haves:
Medications at the ready! When baby gets their first sniffle, you’ll be thrilled to have saline spray prepared. Paracetamol liquid suspension can be administered (with the guidance of your nurse or doctor) after the 8 week vaccinations. Infacol can be fantastic if your baby is colicky (I can’t vouch for its effectiveness, but I know I enjoyed the placebo effect if nothing else).
Baby ‘grooming’ essentials. You can get away with using one of your own nail files if you’re extremely gentle, but I found mini files designed for babies the easiest way to trim brand new little nails. We now use mini clippers to avoid removing fingers with the nails. You may want a hair brush and at some point you will need toothpaste and a toothbrush (as soon as baba has teeth).
Dummies if you wish to use them. Spares are handy. Your baby may like the same shape as their bottle teats.
Bibs. So many bibs. Simple cotton ones wash well and are absorbent. Really useful and inexpensive. They’ll reduce the amount of laundry you need to do, which means more spoons for you.
A baby bath. We used a Shnuggle, which can have a stand. I was a bit unsure on the safety of the stand but if you struggle with back pain it may be a real help. Even without the stand, you can raise the baby bath up to prevent needing to bend over the tub. You can even use it in a shower. Ours had a plug so you could drain it into a sink or bath, but only if you filled it up in there in the fast place! They can become heavy when filled. Bath time is my personal spoon nemesis.
Changing mats and a changing table. Mats are very useful – for changing around the house so you don’t have to move baby to one room in the house for changes. I set up a small caddy with nappy essentials and a washable changing mat or two. A changing table was fantastic for reducing back pain, but isn’t totally necessary if you don’t have the space or budget. We love our wipe clean gently-sloping Shnuggle changing mat, but it stays in one room.
Wet bags. These were a reusable nappy related discovery for me, and I’ve been gifting them to new parents ever since. They are so useful – for dirty clothes, muslins and nappies when out, for storing clothes for holiday, for toys, books, even snacks. You can get different sizes and they are washable. Great for the planet, for your budget as they can be re-used, and to help organise your changing bag to reduce stress on the body and mind.
A changing bag. You don’t need a specific one designed for babies; we used an old rucksack for a huge portion of our little girl’s early months. Having said that, a buggy organiser or wet bag with poppers to hang on the handle may help reduce the physical stress of reaching for a bulky changing bag stashed under a buggy.
And a slightly different one for the IKEA lovers out there: a socktopus. That is not its official name, but it’s what cloth nappy users seem to call it and this is entirely apt. It’s a sort of spiral clothes hanger with built in pegs. Such a time and energy saver for hanging socks and bibs. (It is very stiff to open the legs the first time, but don’t worry it gets easier!)
Extra large swaddling muslins. Not at all necessary, but lovely to have and multi-functional. They can be used to swaddle, to cover, for tummy time, for out and about, as an emergency outfit. So many uses and easy to clean and dry.
A white noise machine. You can use an app on your phone or a bluetooth or smart-home speaker, or you can buy a little machine. Not necessary for all babies but some babies enjoy the sound and it helps to settle them.
A large, padded, wipe clean play mat. This was my absolute favourite splurge. As big as your space will allow. We have one from Totter and Tumble and it’s amazing. It has eased the pain on my knees and hips from spending time on the floor. Being wipe clean means little effort to tidy after spillages. And it’s lovely to look at so soothing mentally too. Perfect for tummy time onwards.
A buggy or car seat toy. Choose something with black and white elements for when baby is new. A fastening to hold it in place is also helpful so you don’t need to bend down and pick it up so much. Our little girl loved her soft book that crinkled. Anything to be used in the car should be soft to prevent it becoming a hard projectile.
Unnecessary items for a newborn
You do not need a baby monitor until baby is sleeping in a different room to you. Guidance is to have them sleep in the same room as you (including for naps) until at least 6 months old. So you can wait on the monitor and see whether you really need that fancy one. We use an audio only monitor and a pet camera.
Any kind of baby nest designed for baby to sleep in is both unnecessary and not considered safe. They might say they are, but that doesn’t mean they actually are.
A machine to make your formula bottles. Don’t buy this until you know you want to formula feed. Even then, it’s not advised by the NHS so proceed having done your own research, with caution.
Baby bouncers and walkers. Your baby will not be bouncing or walking for some time. If you choose to go down this route, look into hip health as some styles of walkers and bouncers are not recommended.
Lots of books and toys. Baby can’t see more than a foot from their face and has no control over their limbs. They will not be playing or reading for several months. A few basic toys – especially sensory ones, black and white ones and anything you want to get for sentiment – is sufficient. Reading to baby is lovely so get some books if you like, but you could try the library or even read adult books. They don’t understand what you’re saying but will enjoy listening to your voice and tone. I read The Hobbit to our little girl.
Breast pumps. You can get one if you need one. They can be bought or hired, depending on preference.
Babies do not need fancy toiletries or creams. Plain water is fine.
Special nappy bins with cassette refills drive me mad. Buy a regular, well sealing bin. Amazon may try to give you a cassette bin as part of a new baby promo; this is not really a saving when you have to buy expensive refills.
So there you have it. My list. It won’t be complete because we all forget things, and because we’re all different. You might desperately want or need something I suggested was unncessary. But I hope this helps to guide you to what you really need for a new baby. Make a list, make a budget and try to stick to it if you can. Ask friends and family for baby items they no longer need. If anyone wants to get you a gift, point them in the direction of your list. Buy quality second hand rather than poorly made cheap new items. You will get more life out of them and a better resale value when you’re done.
Let me know your thoughts and ideas. What do you think is necessary for a new baby? What do you wish you had got? What do you wish you hadn’t?
I hope this helps those of you parenting with spoons to save time on the research, to save mind space on the thinking and to find some ways to ease the toll on your body with simple purchases.
Spoonfuls of love,
Emma
